I was never really into the whole “Princess” thing as a kid… too pink, too frilly, not enough action and adventure. They never seemed to get dirty or make ugly faces or fucking do anything interesting. You know what, though? I’d only ever play as Toadstool in Mario Bros. 2. Badass bitch could fly, leap over tall
buildings waterfalls, and take down ostrich-riding gimps with a thwack of a well-aimed radish. She threw bombs at terrorist rats and killed dragons and rode magic carpets (after chucking their owners to a grisly fate), and out-jumped all of the boys. Fuck yeah Princess Toadstool!